The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
