Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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