But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
