Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I am midnight drunk by noon
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
