let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
