There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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