Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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