I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize