I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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