Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
