You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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