I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize