whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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