The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
