There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
