Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
