btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
