Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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