What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
