I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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