i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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