there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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