oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
