god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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