I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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