Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
