forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
