Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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