Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
