dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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