There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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