haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
