I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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