In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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