I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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