okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
