dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
