after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
