Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
