Non-Jews are for practice
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
