Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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