Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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