Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
