I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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