ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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