Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize