its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
