I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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