no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
