The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
