shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
