is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
