hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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