and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
