I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize