I am in a vortex of obligation.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
