im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize