she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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