the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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