thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
