Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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