Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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