Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
