I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
