If that was your dad, he is hot
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
