I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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