They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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